Being lost

For people of my generation (and those of you who aren’t) we’ve all heard of a mid-life crisis. I’ve been in mine for about 20 years. Being lost has become a traditional pastime for me. Not knowing what I want to do or where I want to do it can often be the rule rather than the exception. Admittedly, the four year cycles of changing professions have certainly helped my ‘condition.’ But being lost, as I’ve grown to accept, is part of my being. I could easily live on a mountain top in a loin clothe (albeit minus my wife and child). But I also like dabbling in the rat race so I can afford things like, oh say, building our eco-home. I feel more fulfilled when I work for free yet bitch and moan that everyone asks me to do it all the time. When I get paid really well, I feel guilty…even though I know I’ve earned it and it was good work.

So how to work, earn a decent living, do what one loves to do, contribute to my community, and not sell out to the man? Exactly. That’s why I’m lost. Hell, I don’t know!